And here I thought Chick-fil-A was just a shitty Bowl game...

But apparently it's also a restaurant.  And now I'm seeing all this uproar about Chick Fil-A and how they are horrible and rotten and evil and nobody should eat their chikin and they can go rot in hell.  And I'm cool with that, because as Americans we have the right to choose who we do business with.  We have the right to speak our minds and say whatever the hell we want.  I also think the owners of Chick-fil-A have the right to say whatever the hell they want as well.  What I don't agree with, what I think is total bullshit, is that the mayors of three major US cities are trying to stop Chick-fil-A from opening stores in their cities.

Look, if you want to boycott a place because you don't like their stance on gay marriage, go for it.  Again that's what makes this country great, that you can eat wherever you want based on whatever you want.  Personally, I could give a rat's ass how they feel about gay marriage.  Is their chicken good?  Hell I don't even know, I had barely even heard of the place until a few days ago.  But really that's all I care about.  I boycott restaurants because their food or service blows.  That's pretty much my only criteria.

And then there's the backlash support from religious wackos and right wingers that now want to go eat at Chick fil-A just because they are anti-gay marriage.  What if these people hate the food?  Shit I wouldn't go choke down some disgusting food just because the owners had the same political beliefs as me, any more than I would boycott a place I loved to eat at just because they were run by bigoted idiots.

Honestly, in a way I admire the owners of Chick-fil-A.  These days everybody just says whatever the fuck they think everyone else wants to hear.  Nobody is honest anymore, everyone is full of shit.  But not these guys.  I'm sure they are aware that their opinions are unpopular and that by openly stating them it would cause a backlash and possibly hurt their business.  But they are sticking to their convictions.  We need people like this.  Because how the hell can you ever have an honest debate about anything if everyone is just going around saying what they think everyone wants to hear? 

Now what really makes me laugh about this whole situation is how KFC is trying to capitalize on it.  I saw a picture of a billboard that said something like "our chicken is made without hate" or something like that.  And now all the leftist liberals are literally eating up this message and going to KFC.  Really?  Aren't they the same rotten bastards that all the animal rights activists tried to put out of business a few years ago because they supposedly torture chickens?

So where are we going with all this?  Are we going to start choosing who we do business with based on whether they are pro-gay marriage, or pro-life, or pro-this or anti-that?  Not me.  Just give me some good chicken and I'm a happy guy.

Well, writing this longwinded bunch of crap has me really wanting some fried chicken right about now.  Anybody know what Popeye's thinks about Obamacare....?

More shit that makes me smile...

Maybe this will be an every Thursday thing...

Paterno's statue is torn down...and everything is all better now

So Penn State decided to tear down Joe Paterno's statue and piss on 42 years of legacy because one guy says Joe was a bad guy.  Now I understand that this isn't just some guy, it was a former FBI director hired by the university to get to the bottom of the shit that went down at Penn State.  And that guy spent eight months producing a 267 page report basically saying that the people that hired him to do the investigation in the first place, along with Joe Paterno, enabled that sick fuck Sandusky to go on violating little boys for over a decade.  I get all that.  But at the end of the day...it's still just one guy, and his investigation doesn't prove a fucking thing. 

There was no trial, and an investigation is far different from a trial.  An investigator gets to decide what leads to pursue and what ones to ignore, he can interview whoever the hell he wants and ask them whatever he wants (or not interview whoever he doesn't want to or not ask them whatever he doesn't want to ask).  He can dig and dig until he has enough evidence to "prove" what he alleges.  Is that what happened here?  I don't know, and nobody else knows either.  Is Paterno guilty just because this guy says he is?  Hell no he isn't.  At least not on the basis of one investigation.  This is why we have a judicial system in the first place.  So both sides can present their cases, however they choose, bringing in whatever evidence they choose to employ in order to argue their side of the case.  Then an unbiased judge and/or jury renders a decision based on the arguments of both sides.  That's not what happened here.

But here's the most ironic thing.  Most of the Paterno bashing out there is about how he placed the football program above everything else (allegedly).  And yet, what do you think the decision to tear down Paterno's statue was based on?  The victims?  Give me a fucking break.  It was Penn State doing some symbolic gesture one day ahead of the NCAA's announcement on sanctions against it's football program. I'm not saying they are heartless bastards that don't give a shit about the victims in this case, I'm saying that the victims had absolutely nothing to do with this decision.

So now the statue is gone, and Paterno's name has been dragged further through the mud.  Everybody happy now?  Are the victims and their families gonna now go on to lead normal, happy productive  lives now that this symbol of horror and evil has been eradicated?  Yeah, I'm guessing the victims and their families dont give a rat's ass.  I'm pretty sure the horror of their experiences hasn't been alleviated one iota because a statue got torn down.  In fact, I'm gonna guess that all of the uproar over this has done nothing for the victims except thrust the whole situation back into the public spotlight and re-open any wounds that might have been starting to heal a little bit.

I'm as angry and disgusted by the whole Sandusky thing as anybody could possibly be.  It's sick and horrifying and makes my skin crawl.  But maybe that's all the more reason to not jump to conclusions about who's guilty of what.  Maybe we should let all sides present their case.  Maybe we should be damn sure before we throw a legendary coach who has been credited with so many good and noble deeds under the bus.  Or maybe it really is just all about the football program...

Shit that makes me smile...

 

I might be fat...

I may or may not have gotten pretty fat after 60 days in the hotel, being lazy, eating take out and restaurant food, and generally being a slug.  I gained 10 pounds, but so did Janet, and that's just too much of a coincidence.  Think about it...2 people leave the mainland and both suddenly weigh 10 pounds more in Hawaii?  Personally I think that there's some excess gravitational pull here in Hawaii, possibly due to magnetic fields caused by the volcanic activity in the area.  In fact I am totally convinced of it.

However, the Army in its ignorance does not adjust its height/weight standards based on the gravitational pull of the local area.  So I have to lose some weight.  I need to anyway, my goal weight is 175 (which I guess would be 185 in Hawaii) and I'm at 200 on the nose right now.  Don't worry, I'm not going to turn this blog into some stupid weight loss blog. 

I can't imagine how fat I would be if I wasn't in the Army...I'd be fucking enormous.  And it wouldn't be out of laziness, I don't mind working out.  I just love food.  And all the bad shit too...the worse it is for you the more I like it.  I don't think I like one healthy food.  None of it.  I mean I can choke down some broccoli and eat a banana now and then, but give me red meat and if you can deep fry that red meat then that's all the better.  I like cookies and cake and potato chips and deep fried twinkies.  If I eat chicken or fish instead of red meat in order to be healthy, that shit better be fried.

So basically, my strategy for losing weight is gonna be to eat whatever the hell I want, maybe in smaller quantities, and just workout like crazy to make up for the difference.  Yeah, I know, that's probably the perfect prescription for a heart attack, but we'll see...

Skinny jeans may lead to 'twisted testicles' and other painful health problems for style-conscious men

Twisted testicles is a serious condition that occurs "when tight trousers prevent the spermatic cord from moving freely, meaning it twists and leads to testicular torsion which cuts off the blood supply requiring immediate surgery to prevent a gangrenous testicle," noted the report.

For men, the skinny jean fashion trend may have an unexpected side effect: experts are warning that the surge of tight-jean popularity among men is sparking a rise in painful testicular problems.
Medical experts, including UK television personality Dr. Hilary Jones, have reported an increase in injuries being caused by tight jeans, cites The Telegraph on Wednesday. "The trendy denims are causing twisted testicles, bladder weakness, and even urinary tract infections."
Twisted testicles is a serious condition that occurs "when tight trousers prevent the spermatic cord from moving freely, meaning it twists and leads to testicular torsion which cuts off the blood supply requiring immediate surgery to prevent a gangrenous testicle," noted the report.
Other dreaded side effects from overly tight jeans: low sperm count and fungal infections.
According to the UK press, Jones is working with TENA, a maker of hygienic products for people with incontinence, on a project to highlight the dangers.
''I have seen several cases of men who have twisted their testicles due to wearing jeans that are far too tight," she reportedly said. ''My advice would be to make sure you leave plenty of room around the groin area and that your [UNDER]pants and trousers feel comfortable so you're not being restricted in any way."
''Please don't put style before health,'' Jones added.
For women, wearing skinny jeans can increase one's chances of developing a vaginal yeast infection. Plus for both sexes, tight jeans have found to raise the risk of nerve compression, which can lead to tingling or numb thighs, according to health and fitness website RealBuzz.  NY Daily News

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know, I hate rules, but one rule I live by is, if something is causing me twisted testicles, bladder weakness, or gangrenous testicles I stop doing it.  But not these guys.  There they are, jamming away, mangling their balls in the name of style.
I hope this is true.  I really do.  I mean this is Darwinism in it's trueist form.  People shouldn't be running around in skinny jeans anyway, because they look stupid.  And apparently Mother Nature agrees, because she's maiming the genitals of these idiots so hopefully they can't reproduce.
Unfortunately, I have to call bullshit on this one.  Why?  Well, I grew up in the 70's and 80's.  And we did the same shit back then, except we didn't call them skinny jeans, we just bought jeans that were tight as fuck and then spent 15 minutes every morning trying to cram our asses into them.  And as far as I can tell, none of my friends ended up with "damaged goods"  I look at facebook and see them all with tons of kids and apparently living free of smashed balls or yeast infections.  So I have to say that this study was probably done by people too fat to wear skinny jeans in the first place, and just want to scare the shit out of people so they stop wearing them.  Which is fine by me...

The Ultimate Mancave

Now this...Janet are you there seeing this???...now this is the ultimate mancave.  A freaking scoreboard hanging from the ceiling.  Huge ass bigscreen TV.  I think I'd get rid of the stupid chairs though and put in round tables and stools but hey, I could live with the chairs too.  Now to my lovely wife's credit, she has always said I could have a mancave, we just haven't really ever had a space to make one.  Well, that's not true, we've had garages, but she keeps insisting on parking cars in them which hogs up all the space.

I have managed to get a cheesehead and Packers football up on top of the bookcase and I snuck a Packers mini helmet in the entertainment center, and we have a Packers blanket on the back of the couch.  But, I'm guessing their living room privileges are on thin ice.  No scoreboard hanging from the ceiling though...not yet anyways ;)

Cam Newton Is A Steaming Pile of Moose Shit!!!

So I read this article about how Cam Newton charges people to autograph footballs and photos and shit like that, and that basically everybody has their panties in a wad about it because he's so super rich already and whythefuck does he have to charge people for his autograph and what an arrogant son of a bitch and so on...

Really?  You think a pro athlete owes you an autograph?  So you can turn around and sell that jersey or photo?  Why should he have to stand around for a half hour or whatever after practice to produce products for free for the sports memorabilia industry?  I don't feel sorry for millionaires but I do think they should be able to live their lives in peace just like anyone else, and if other people are making money off their fame or celebrity then they have every right to take a piece of the action.

I will say this...if some 10 year old kid comes up to Cam with a piece of paper and a pen and Cam says "that'll be $150", that's pretty shitty.  As long as he confines it to collectables and shit like that, then I have no problem with it.  I remember reading a long time ago about some baseball player...I want to say Willie Stargell but I don't fucking remember and it would be wrong to put Willie out like that without having my facts straight...but Willie Stargell would ask for $10 from anybody who mailed him a baseball card to sign, with the proceeds going to charity.  Willie (I honestly have no idea if it was Willie Stargell, it was just the first 70's baseball player I could think of) said he did it mostly just to try to cut down on all the cards he got in the mail, and do something nice for charity.  Well anyway, everybody was all pissed at Willie for this too.

So anyway Cam Newton is a scumbag for all this apparently...why I have no idea...

A lucky man

So I posted this one on facebook last week and for some reason about 800 people liked it so I guess it's worth reposting here...so here it is....

first argument with the scumbag neighbors and their dogshit filled lawn...

Oh shit sorry...wrong post...here's the one I meant...

I'm a lucky man in so many ways. I think about what I used to stress over, like how I was going to get to work the next day, or how or when I was gonna catch up with the rent or the electric bill...and now my biggest worry is how I'm gonna get all the shit I bought over the last couple weeks to my new house in Hawaii...my point is, no matter how things seem or how bad things appear now, if you work hard and focus on how to improve things sometimes one little thing at time, and have faith in yourself and your plan, that things will eventually improve. And in the meantime, remember that no matter how shitty things are, things are always even shittier for someone else, so count your blessings every day

Why this exists...

I'm one of those people who tends to bottle things up, instead of speaking out.  At least until I decide to go off on a rant, usually on Facebook, which I'm sure annoys the hell out of pretty much all of my friends.  But I do get comments and likes, so I guess some people out there actually read them.  Either way, I decided to stop littering my friends news feeds with my musings and bitchings and put them all here.
This would be a good time to establish some rules of the road here.  First...I am not politically correct.  I say what I mean and I don't tiptoe around trying to find the perfect word or phrase that doesn't offend any living thing on the planet.  Second...I use swear words quite liberally (and quite well in my humble opinion).  Now I understand that this is an immature and often ineffective way to communicate, but fuck it, I don't care.  Third...I hate fucking rules, so the last rule is there are no more rules.
Now I would say that I hope you enjoy this blog, but that would be a lie and lying is no way to start a blog.  I honestly dont care if you enjoy it, and I believe in honesty.  I am basically doing this for my own amusement, but if somebody somewhere out there actually likes this then that's cool too.  I will say that I am one of the most witty, clever, charming, and humble bastards that I know, so give it a shot. 
So, while I don't care if you like this blog or not, I do appreciate you stopping by, and if you're still reading this then thanks for that too.  I'm gonna start by posting some of my old fb rants from the past...and we'll see where this whole thing goes from there.